


Family Resemblance

by CadetDru



Series: Good Night, Staten Island.  Good Night [1]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale, What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Gen, Phone Calls & Telephones, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 09:22:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24468661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/CadetDru
Summary: Carlos hadn't ever really come out to the whole family, just carefully doled out relevant details at the appropriate time to a receptive audience.  Guillermo has never shared anything with anyone
Relationships: Carlos & Cecil Palmer, Carlos/Cecil Palmer
Series: Good Night, Staten Island.  Good Night [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768738
Comments: 9
Kudos: 65





	1. First Day Jitters

The phone rang, bringing Guillermo up out of his cat nap. He only checked to see if it was an emergency.

Guillermo's favorite older cousin had just packed up everything to move out to some quiet but scientifically interesting desert town. For Carlos to be calling Guillermo already meant that something was going wrong. It also meant that he trusted Guillermo, that he needed him in some way. Three years in with Nandor, and Guillermo wanted to be needed by everyone. 

"Carlos?" Guillermo said. It was unlikely that anyone had hijacked his cousin's phone, but a pocket dial wasn't impossible. 

"Guillermo! Do you believe in the concept of love at first sight?"

"I don't know. I've never been in love," Guillermo said. Carlos always had a way of pulling the truth out of people.

"I've been here for a day by the calendar, by hours."

"How are you liking Night Vale?"

"I'm not sure yet, but it says that it likes me. There was a meeting. There were many people there. They're all very nice. And then, the radio turned itself on, and I listened to the Voice talk all about it and about me. 'He grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and _I fell in love instantly.'"_ Carlos sounded different, his voice smoother as he quoted this mystery person. The voice he took on didn't sound female.

"That's about you?" Guillermo said, eyes green with envy, stomach tied in knots of jealousy. Carlos had good hair, good teeth, looked respectable in the lab coat he always seemed to wear. Carlos was special, but not that special.

"Yeah, he was just so open about it. And I don't even know what he looks like."

"He?" Guillermo said. Carlos hadn't ever really come out to the whole family, just carefully doled out relevant details at the appropriate time to a receptive audience. Guillermo had never shared anything with anyone.

"Yeah, Night Vale isn't concerned about that."

"Convenient," Guillermo muttered.

"Someone, someone in power, has seen me maybe once and decided to be in love with me."

"And what have you decided?" Guillermo asked.

"I don't have enough data. What would you do?"

"Find him!" Guillermo said, surprising himself with how loud he was. "See if you love him, if you loves the real you. Get a condo, get a cat."

Carlos laughed a smug little laugh.

"You knew what I would say," Guillermo said, ready to sulk.

"How's your work?" He didn't ask how Guillermo's 'relationship' was; it was the same thing. Unrequited love was Guillermo's specialty. 

"It's good, it's really... Three years. It's good." He was getting good at killing people, at picking people to kill. A relationship was out of the question, with Nandor or with anyone else. If and when he became a vampire, then things would be different.

"Stay in touch," Carlos said. "Call me. I don't know what my schedule will be like, but I want to stay connected."

"I want to hear about this voice."

"I think you will."


	2. one year later

It was late when Carlos called; Nandor's master was awake. "I almost died. I lost so much blood."

"People can actually lose a lot of blood before. Like, a lot."

"I almost died, so I called him," Carlos said.

"The Voice?" Guillermo asked. There wasn't any point in asking; that was the only person that Carlos ever talked about.

"He was the only person that I wanted to see. No offense. I had been waiting for the right moment, just the right time to ask him out, to really connect with him."

"No, I get it. Has your love at first sight kicked in yet?"

"I think so," Carlos said, taking it seriously. "I think... I think I really do love him. I wanted to be with him, just have him close after everything that happened."

"What did happen?" Guillermo asked.

"I was... It was.. They…"

"Carlos?" Guillermo said, making sure it wasn't a bad phone connection.

"I was attacked. A year in this town, and it still turned on me."

"A year, really?" Guillermo said. Time was slipping away from him, his youth was fading.

"A year in this town and it's all still been so confusing, nothing makes sense, but he... The Voice... He's always there. And he's... I think I remember him, that first night. I think there was some spark, even if he felt it more deeply than I did."

"Condo and cat in sight?"

"I'm hoping so."

"Make it work."


	3. Thou shall not fall

Guillermo called Carlos for a change. That meant they might talk about the weird things going on Guillermo's life. That meant things were going to be different, 

Things were going differently, were becoming more serious. Guillermo was getting closer to becoming a vampire, and it was going to be hard to tell people. He needed to start practicing. 

"Do you believe in vampires?" He asked, skipping the proper greetings. Carlos wouldn't mind. He couldn't.

"At this point, yes," Carlos said, with the weary sigh he'd perfected since he moved to Night Vale.

"I want to be one."

"What kind?" Carlos asked. "Grey skin and weird pointed ears and permanent fangy scowl?"

"I was thinking more pale-ish, same ears but fangs."

"How long until you get there?"

"I don't know. I mean, I know they're real. I know what could happen, what's possible."

"Does your boss know?"

Guillermo cleared his throat. "Well, actually, he is one."

"Oh, you're like his Renfield, right?

"I don't like that framing. I'm his familiar. It's more like an apprentice or intern."

"Intern sounds about right," Carlos said, laughing and sighing. "Oh, Guillermo, be careful. I wish I knew more. I don't think we have any vampires in Night Vale."

"You don't know?"

"No," Carlos said. "I don't know about the loss of the soul or whatever is that happens when you die. Turn? You should come here before you do it, whatever it actually is."

"But you wouldn't... you'd be okay with it?"

"If you're happy, then of course. Do you have a timeframe?"

"Not yet," Guillermo sighed. "I just... wanted to check in. Okay, thanks, I'll talk to you soon, gotta go, Master needs me, bye." The words tumbled out of Guillermo and he disconnected the call. It was just too easy to be too honest and he wasn't ready for it yet.


	4. Chosen One

Guillermo called Carlos, hyperventilating, hoping he would pick up and it wouldn't go to voicemail. "Carlos, hi, hello, et cetera. I did a DNA test. I just got the results back, like just got them. It applies to your side, too, you know."

"What does?" Carlos said.

"Van Helsing DNA. We're hereditary vampire killers." There was a long pause. Guillermo pulled his head away from the phone to make sure Carlos was still there. He made eye contact with the camera crew, then looked away.

"Neat," Carlos said. He was enthusiastic, but not excited. It was interesting, but wouldn't cancel any other plans for the day. 

"Neat?" Guillermo repeated, flatly. Carlos had annoyed the terror and confusion out of him.

"That explains a lot. Like, everything, really. That might be why I'm still alive. I still haven't seen any vampires in Night Vale that I can remember, but they may have hypnotized me."

"I don't want to be a vampire slayer," Guillermo said, starting to hyperventilate again.

"You don't have to do it, then. You can be a vampire. Or both! That might be like Highlander. Did you like Highlander?"

"I didn't like Sean Connery in it," Guillermo said.

"So, don't be him. Be you. Whoever that is. Whoever that will be."

"But you're okay being a potential vampire hunter?" Guillermo said.

"It would really kind of simplify and explain my work, yes."

"That's fucked up," Guillermo said.

Guillermo could hear Carlos shrug. "That's Night Vale."


	5. Vacation Invitation

"You should come out to Night Vale," Carlos said. 

Guillermo sighed. "Oh, yeah, I'd love to but I really can't take any time off work and..."

"Oh, we can come up with something to protect your Master."

"You're... you don't even have vampires out there, you said."

"Yeah, but there's lots of different things that avoid sunlight and/or holy relics. Transit itself would be the biggest issue."

"That's one of the benefits of coffins."

"Get a traveling coffin. I actually have designs for one that I can send you. We actually get a lot of natural light in the lab, so i was thinking of an extra awning on the coffin would help..."

"You want to run an experiment on my Master."

Carlos cleared his throat, loosening any potential throat spider eggs. "I mean... yes. Yes, I do. Cecil said you need a trip out here too."

"Can I just come out on my own if I can't talk Master into it?"

"Oh," Carlos said, sounding disappointed. He quickly rallied. "Oh, Guillermo, of course you can. I'm sorry. Please. Come to Night Vale."

"But it wouldn't even be worth it if you couldn't do your experiment." Guillermo was pouting, sulking, but not crying. 

"No, no, I'm sorry. I was just... it would be scientifically interesting if you could bring a real vampire with you, but honestly a vial of his un-coagulated blood would be just as useful."

"You said it's hard to find Night Vale anyway."

"And hard to leave. You might have better luck on the whole trip if you have a vampire with you. I mean, luck isn't scientific but it might decrease some of the variables--"

"I'll talk to him."


	6. Mirroring

Guillermo almost didn't want to see Carlos again because he knew he'd just feel like a failure. Guillermo didn't look like Carlos. He was round where Carlos was sleek. Carlos Was older, definitively not a virgin if his community radio host was to be believed, has greying but perfect hair and perfect teeth. Guillermo's teeth were fine. His hair never seemed to do what he wanted it to. He didn't know how to dress, who he would be dressing for. Capris wore lab coats.

"The film crew is on hiatus, so it would be good timing," Guillermo said. He immediately regretted it. "But it's summer. I don't think I have summer clothes, not for a desert."

"People often say it's not the heat, it's the humidity." 

"Is that scientific?" Guillermo said.

"It's one of my experiments for the summer. That, and seeing how long the train lasts."

"Why wouldn't it last?" Guillermo said, starting to get scared. He'd listened to too much of Cecil's show.   
  


"That's the point of the experiment, Memo. And why you should come sooner rather than later. The train actually exists this week. And it wouldn't even be extra to bring the coffin. Would it be just the one?"

"Just the one," Guillermo said. Just the one vampire, his Master. Their own private holiday, assuming Nandor remembered that he'd agreed to it.

"All right, I'll email you the itinerary I mocked up. If it works, I'll see you next Monday."

"Monday it is."


End file.
